Lights are on, but no Bodhi home

In Buddhism, bodhi (pronounced bo-dee) means the awakening experience attained by the Buddha and his accomplished disciples and refers to the unique consciousness of a fully liberated being.
So when I look at my practice, I see that I am becoming more mindful than I have been in the past, and I am gaining small bits of wisdom as I go. So I think my lights are on. However I am also fully aware that there is no “Bodhi” home. Meaning there is no enlightenment for me. Not yet.
But I think it is important to flip the switch, and turn our lights on. A dear Buddhist Monk was explaining to me today that some ideas are so deeply ingrained in us that it is like bone marrow. I see that this is so very true.
Religious beliefs can be very much like this. But so can years of any type of self-delusion. A perfect example would be “I” this or “I” that. I am happy, I am sad, I am angry, I am handsome, I don’t like this person etc etc.
Clinging to these concepts of self, become like our bone marrow. We think they are part of us and unchangeable. But this too is an illusion. This is an opportunity to turn the light on and see with more clarity, begin to let go of the self. Light that room up that we call the mind!
Once again I find myself coming back to mindfulness. I often think I am being mindful, then catch myself. Eating dinner is always one of those challenging times. My Wife makes these delicious meals, and I catch myself eating as though it was my last meal. Then I pause and try to become mindful. The next day, it comes to me that I never gave any thought to the animal that I consumed. Not very mindful, was I.
But I also need to clarify that mindfulness is not being analytical. I sometimes think it appears that my practice means to think and analyze every moment. And that is far from true or accurate. Examining things is much different than analyzing them. If one analyzes any moment, you become instantly distracted from that moment. Your mind wanders and darkens. That light that you just turned on, begins to dim. Don’t cling I tell you! :)
Remember that clinging is attachment. This is suffering, and the more you do this the more it appears to become like bone marrow.

So do yourself a favor this year, and turn the light on. There may be no Bodhi home now, but they could arrive any minute!

May you be well, happy and peaceful