I was noticing my dogs reacting today to me giving attention to one, and not the other. It was so obvious that the one not getting attention was very jealous of the other.
And isn’t this emotion the very same as a human being? Don’t most of us feel some form of jealousy from time to time?
Don’t we feel there is some type of validation when we get attention from someone, and we feel special because of it?
I question why this is… why do we need to feel important to someone else for us to believe we have value.
I have come to think that this is because of the ego, and our attachment to the self.
I have spoken before about love not being genuine love if it is based on attachment, clinging or expectation. And more and more I see that this is something I need to stay mindful of in all my relationships. Letting go of the self lends a purity and equanimous quality to that love for others. The ego is removed, and there is no expectation of reciprocation in your love.
Do you love me, do you care about me, will you always love me? These are thoughts and words that we should eliminate if we are to experience the highest understanding of loving kindness and compassion.
I think that jealousy can be useful in helping any of us to become aware of our illusion. It can trigger mindfulness that true love is without expectation, and also remind us that we are truly alone. Thinking that we possess another is just an illusion and plants the seeds of suffering.
And realize that aloneness is not a bad thing, it’s a beautiful experience. There is an awakening in this realization because at some point you will see that we are all alone. There is a greater universal truth in this, and a deeper connectedness than the perceived ones you may have formed with attachments.
So if you feel you are lacking attention, I hope you will see that there is no need for this. We are all human beings, with feelings, bodies, joys and suffering. You are not alone in this, nor am I.
Give your love and attention to someone today, and truly have no expectation or desire. Just let there be love.
May you be well, happy and peaceful.