How often I feel that I am truly stuck between a rock and a hard place. Doing something or doing nothing, both seem to be equally bad choices. Do you ever find yourself feeling this way also, like there is no good decision?
Well I think I am beginning to find the solution to this dilemma by focusing on my practice. And I try to keep in mind that there are always three potential states of experience. There is positive (wholesome & skillful), negative (unwholesome & ignorant), and there is neutral. And it’s so easy to forget that third state of neutrality. And by seeing that we do not always have to control or define every moment, we open ourselves up to endless possibilities and a tremendous amount of acceptance. Seeing that sometimes you are neither happy or sad, you are neither. And how liberating to know that this is available to each of us!
Our meditation foundation is a wonderful place to begin to explore this neutral space. One that makes no differentiation or separation of people, thoughts or emotions. Dogmas simply do not exist in this place, as you find yourself truly the silent observer. The caution I would offer you here, is not to attach to this neutrality. Because the moment that you do, you return to judging and defining of the moment.
I believe that this experience is considered one of the jhana’s. Jhana’s being different levels of meditative states. But be aware that the Buddha explained that even one who experiences the highest levels of jhana may still not gain any wisdom. This is because our path is truly not on the cushion, it is in the experience and action of this life. Our liberation from suffering, selfishness, delusion and attachment. We must in fact walk the walk, and live the dhamma. Every breath being a powerful intention of compassion, loving kindness, and equanimity.
And these sound like some awfully big aspirations to fill, don’t they!
But fret not, as this path can take many lifetimes and there is no punishment for taking too long. Each breath that we take mindfully and lovingly, moves us in the right direction toward Nibbana. That alone should be enough motivation to inspire your confidence in the dhamma (the teachings). Only concerning yourself with this breath, not good or bad, right or wrong, just this breath. Neutral is not only OK, it’s wonderful.
May you be well, happy and peaceful.