Love requires no reward or acknowledgment. That act of giving, caring, helping, in its purest form, holds no expectation.
This goes quite contrary to the saying “how do I love thee, let me count the ways”. If this love is genuine and pure, there is nothing to count. I would prefer my love be silent and compassionate, equanimous in nature and intention.
In my practice, I have learned that loving the self must be learned before genuine unconditional love can be offered to anyone else. And while this may sound easy on the surface, it is one that I still am learning to do fully, deeply and joyfully.
Mindful awareness reveals my own doubts, fears, attachments and delusions. These are exposed each time I speak or act. Yet complete unconditional love for the self would extinguish all of these and more. And it is only by this total acceptance and love of the self that I believe we can share this with others.
Without it, we are coming from a place of criticism and judgement. The same criticism’s and judgements that we have for ourself is what we expose in our nature towards the World and all other beings.
Purifying the mind is accomplished by the elimination of the ten defilements: 1. greed 2. hate 3. delusion 4. conceit 5. wrong views 6. doubt 7. torpor 8. restlessness 9. shamelessness and 10. recklessness.
For now, I find the path of meditation, virtue and wisdom as the best ways to develop genuine loving kindness for the self and extinguishing defilements. But I am also currently reading “The path of serenity and insight” by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana (Bhante “G”), who explains a very deep and methodical way to eliminate our defilements as taught by the Buddha. (This is NOT a good beginners book)
As I continue reading this powerful book, I will of course remain determined on my path of meditation and the development of wisdom and virtue. But I will also attempt to always share what I am learning with each of you as well. And, as always, believe nothing I say just because I said it. Examine always each of these things with your own mind and reason. Should you find any of them to be true and beneficial, then incorporate them into your own daily life and practice.
But always, I encourage you to accept yourself, and love yourself first.
May you be well, happy and peaceful.
