I sat in the tub this evening, and was looking at my hand sitting in the water. Trying to be mindful in all things, I wondered how I could be mindful of something this mundane. Then it occurred to me, is my hand a part of the water, or is the water now a part of my hand? I saw no answer to this. Then I observed a tiny black speck of something floating in the water. I put my hand under it to fish it out, but every-time I did it escaped my grasp.
Again, I thought there must be some epiphany here! But again, nothing.
So there I sat in a hot tub of water with this little speck floating about. And yet no enlightenment. No correlation to the Dharma. And not even really enjoying my bath!
Darn it, I thought this was going to be my Buddha moment!
After my bath, my mind was still preoccupied with trying to gain some wisdom from this experience. Sure, I could make up some flowery words to put here on a Blog post, but whats the point of that? I truly had gained no insight or wisdom from any of this.
About half an hour later I did my meditation. While attempting to not attach to these thoughts about the water, a odd thing entered my mind. Get this, I was having thoughts about my furnace air filter! OK, don’t laugh at me, there is a point to all this.
We recently had our furnace serviced, and the technician informed me that my high efficiency filter is actually constricting the flow and hurting the furnace.
Voilà, I had my epiphany! I am putting so much pressure on myself to see things and learn things, that I’m restricting my own flow of energy.
So tomorrow my goal is nothing. I am going to just be.
Perhaps I can just be mindful that I exist. (If I do)
Wow, that’s a load of my shoulders!
Peace and love everyone.
Be well, happy, peaceful and don’t beat yourself up.