I swear to you, when I write each post, I do my very best to be completely candid and transparent. Yet after almost 2 years of writing this Blog daily, I often feel as though I have come across slightly disconnected. And as hard as I may try to not sound preachy or come across like a teacher, I fear that I do sometimes.
So now I question, what is the best way to write that will truly show my readers who I am and what I am about? And I think I have to expose myself and my vulnerabilities more clearly.
First of all, I think it’s important that you know I have good days and bad days. Some days feeling very clear on my path, comforted by my knowledge and acceptance of life. While other days feeling extremely hopeless and lost. And during those times, all of my reading, studying and practicing, seem to fly out the window. Feeling sad, lonely, angry, confused, and unclear about most everything. Family struggles, relationship difficulties, financial disasters, physical hardships, and so many others that I can’t even recall. I have all of them, my friends.
So what makes me any different from you? Nothing at all. Perhaps it is only that I have found an avenue to express and share my experiences here that has brought us together. A place for me to learn as much or more from you as you may learn from me. And without you reading this, my writing is only one hand clapping.
Because I have learned that rich or poor, male or female, young or old, we all face the same situations and struggles at one time or another in our lives.
Bhante Sujatha told me a long time ago that there are no struggles in Buddhism. And I think I have pretty much learned what he means by this. And that is that difficulties and dissatisfaction are simply part and parcel to this physical life we have. And by having a clear and peaceful mind, with genuine understanding of this nature, there are no struggles. We simply see and accept the reality of all of this. No need to turn from it, avoid it, or be distracted from it. You can handle it.
But still, even with this understanding, it sure seems like struggle to me many times. And that just confirms what I am sharing with you. I’m a human being who is finding my way, through practice and patience. One day at a time, moment by moment.
One thing that I would strongly encourage of each of you, is that you find the determination to meditate each and every day. If only for 10 or 15 minutes, you deserve this time for yourself. And the longer that I practice, the more I see that it is this self-examination, understanding, and acceptance that we gain through meditation, that slowly but surely we learn to live a happier and more peaceful life. And I can state without reservation that I have seen the powerful positive impact that this has had on my friends and Family. It has cultivated more generosity in my heart, and a greater understanding of the joy of letting go. And it always bring me back to the present.
So while I may still likely be many years away from offering myself up as any kind of a teacher, I can however offer myself up right now as your friend. And I am so grateful that you have allowed me into your life in some small way. I feel the connectedness that we have, the sadness and joys that we experience.
And while I sit silently on this side of the computer screen, and you on the other, for perhaps only a moment, we are experiencing an intimate connection of loving-friendliness and community.
Peace and blessings be with you.
May you be well, happy and peaceful.