Wouldn’t the World be a better place if everyone just did things my way?
Of course it would.
And that is exactly the type of thinking that causes me so much suffering every single day.
You see, when someone is hurting me, I always think how things would be better if they could just see how I feel. If they could see what I want and what I need to feel happy.
But I am learning the hard way, through a lot of suffering, that you cannot control anybody. Most times you cannot even show others how they are hurting you. It is a deep, personal hurt. And only I knows how that feels and understand the reasons.
But seeing clearly that I cannot control anyone else, does not take my suffering away. I am still being hurt.
I do think however, I can try to view this with an open heart. I can be compassionate that the person hurting me may have a lot of suffering themselves. And by doing this, my heart softens and I can try to accept them.
I think is an important part of developing loving kindness. Loving those who make it hard to love them sometimes.
I was blessed with the company of Bhante Samita yesterday. Before he left, I asked him how he deals with angry hurtful people. He seemed a bit confused by my question.
So then I asked him, don’t you think sometimes people are mean to you? He said, “I don’t know, I suppose so”.
His response totally took my by surprise. I could see that he genuinely did not see anyone that way.
His view of others is one of love and compassion, without attachment.
I thought to myself, “holy crap, how does he do that!”.
Well after meditating last night, and sleeping on it, I have come to a conclusion. He does it because of a life of practice, and always being mindful.
You see, he also mentioned how we were not mindful for Thanksgiving dinner. We gobbled up the food like animals, while talking up a storm. Don’t get me wrong, it was a wonderful dinner. But now I realize how much I missed. I was not being mindful, I was not fully present. I was letting the waves carry me along.
And I think these emotions I feel are very much like that. Instead of being mindful, I let these hurtful feelings carry me away. I end up feeling lost at sea.
So let me give thanks one more day. Thank you for this day, thank you for the lesson, thank you for my Family, and thank you for Bhante Samita.
May I be more mindful today, may I be well happy and peaceful.