I lost my smile

smile
I know it must be in there somewhere, but I am not finding it right now.
I suppose, like everything else, it will be in the last place I look!

I realized today that there are probably many of you who sometimes feel like I do today. There is a certain sense of sadness, loss or disconnectedness. Not quite sure what is driving these feelings, I typically become rather introverted. Withdrawing to a state of inner reflection.
I can tell you, from past and current experience, this place is rather dark and lonely. Making it extremely difficult to find that smile that I misplaced.

So how does one come out of this dull state, and make a return to happiness?
I see a first step in being mindfully aware of the cause of this dullness. Typically, I think it can begin with a single thought that arises. And by grasping to that thought, we can easily spiral into depression and sadness.
But what if instead, seeing this thought arise, we release it immediately? No story to go along with it, no past memories or feelings associated. No future fears or anxieties to confront.
I see that the constant push and pull of attachment and aversion are only dispelled by mindfulness. This also means letting go of the ego, and our attachment to the self.

When I think about this as I write, I realize that I have the answer to finding that inner happiness. But it is only with practice and determination that I will one day be skillful in this.

So where’s my smile, you ask? It’s been right here the whole time.
All that it took was a little patience with myself, loving kindness, and taking a few moments to regain my mindfulness in this moment.
I hope you will see that your smile is available also. So go ahead, show it off and share it with others.
Now doesn’t that feel better!

May you be well, happy and peaceful.

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