Although written for Bhikkhu‘s, I believe, as a layperson, I need to be very mindful of what I write here on my Blog.
How to admonish another skillfully:
“O bhikkhus, a bhikkhu who desires to admonish another should do
so after investigating five conditions in himself and after
establishing five other conditions in himself. What are the five
conditions which he should investigate in himself?
 “Am I one who practices purity in bodily action, flawless
 “Am I one who practices purity in speech, flawless and
 “Is the heart of goodwill, free from malice, established in
me towards fellow-farers in the holy life…?
 “Am I or am I not one who has heard much, who bears in mind
what he has heard, who stores up what he has heard? Those
teachings which are good alike in their beginning, middle, and
ending, proclaiming perfectly the spirit and the letter of the
utterly purified holy life — have such teachings been much heard
by me, borne in mind, practiced in speech, pondered in the heart
and rightly penetrated by insight…?
 “Are the Patimokkhas [rules of conduct for monks and nuns]
in full thoroughly learned by heart, well-analyzed with thorough
knowledge of their meanings, clearly divided sutta by sutta and
known in minute detail by me…?
“These five conditions must be investigated in himself.
“And what other five conditions must be established in himself?
 “Do I speak at the right time, or not?
 “Do I speak of facts, or not?
 “Do I speak gently or harshly?
 “Do I speak profitable words or not?
 “Do I speak with a kindly heart, or inwardly malicious?
I think that for me, the last 5 are really critical. It seems that these 5 are conditions that anyone can practice. These are the 5 that I must investigate.
But am I doing this every day? Do the words I write here in my Blog observe all those conditions?
With my whole heart I can tell you that I truly hope so.
But I am fully aware I lack the wisdom and knowledge of a Bhikkhu. So I must choose my words very carefully. And I caution each of you to question what I say and think.
More importantly than what I say here, is what I say the rest of the time. I can easily appear to be a wonderful Buddhist here, yet in the rest of my life be completely lacking in these disciplines.
I can admit to you here that I stumble often. I succumb to disturbing emotions, and a desire to control others.
And by control, I mean that I want the people around me to be filled with loving kindness. And I get so upset when they are not! I still do not understand why I attach to this. Why do I suffer because they are unhappy or angry?
I think perhaps its because I have an untrained mind. This is a very old habit I have developed over my entire life. For some reason, if you are upset, I think that I am upset. Crazy right? But I will bet that most of you do it too.
So let’s stop this insanity. I will try, and I hope you will try. Be heedful and compassionate, and do not attach. This is not my suffering.
C’mon, repeat after me… “This is not MY suffering!”.
Namaste and may you be well, happy and peaceful.