So last nights meditation was Vipassana (Mindfulness) meditation.
But first I would like to share some advice I read recently about breathing. And that is, if you are doing mindfulness meditation and start feeling overwhelmed with disturbing emotions, it’s quite alright to switch to Loving kindness (Metta) meditation. Quite often I find this can bring about the peace I need to return to Vispassana.
But back to last nights meditation.
As I meditate more and more, I try to simply focus on the breath. Letting thoughts arise and fall without attachment or judgment. And certainly not getting involved in some storyline.
It was really going well, and I was totally into this peace and mindfulness. The breath was everything for me, truly blissful.
Then I realized I was taking deeper and deeper breaths, trying to take in more of this beautiful experience.
But I quickly became aware that the more I took in, the more I had to let go.
Grasping for more bliss only gave me more suffering. This was quite the awakening moment for me.
It brought my mind right back to the idea of desire and that I need to let go of it.
I think many of us cause ourselves suffering in this way on a regular basis.
Let’s say you want a nice new car. You fill that desire, and soon after you suffer because it could get scratched in the parking lot. You suffer to pay for it, you suffer that your insurance went up.
So much suffering came along with the filling of a desire.
And a new car is only one small example of how I think each of us let’s our desires cause us suffering.
Even a desire that does not get filled will cause us suffering.
Let’s say you play the lottery, as many people do. Your desire is to win money, perhaps get rich. But when you don’t win, you are sad and realize you have wasted your money. So you try again and again, only to suffer some more! Do you ask yourself why you continue this pattern?
Perhaps you think because there is a chance you could win, and all your money troubles would be over.
Let’s say that you did win. Do you know how your life would be changed? Are you really so sure that suffering will be gone? Or will you have gained new forms of suffering in your life?
We can all easily fill our minds with delusion. This is what the Buddha refers to as ignorance (Avijja).
But I am learning the best way to see and understand these truths clearly is by simply breathing.
Everything and nothing are all in the breath.
May you be well, happy and peaceful.