Dosa is the Pali word for aversion. And boy, how very often do we find ourselves caught up in this feeling. Perhaps the biggest pitfall is that we often don’t even realize that it is aversion which is causing us so much anger and unhappiness.
I recently saw a post by someone on Facebook, stating that “I’m the type of person that will try to make everyone else smile, but when I need a smile, no one is there for me.”.
Do any of you ever feel this way sometimes too?
Well just recently, Bhante Sumana gave a brief dhamma talk on the try meaning of the Pali word “dana” (giving). And in this talk he explained how a simple smile can be dana, and a gift you offer to someone, even a stranger. But he also explained that this is not dana when given with expectation.
And doesn’t this Facebook post clearly demonstrate that kindness was offered, but with a powerful string attached — “You owe me!”
And without reciprocation, we develop aversion to the people around us. Perhaps even those who are closest to us. Thinking how much love we have shown them, but now that we need it, they are falling short. But falling short of what? Only our own expectations. And this is a great opportunity to observe how you offered loving kindness. It was clearly unwholesome and lacking mindfulness.
Now just think if we are able to offer detached loving friendliness and compassion, with zero expectation. There will be no need to be hurt, disappointed, or create any aversions.
it reminds me of the story that Bhante Sujatha has told about an experience at the airport.
While waiting for his plane to depart he was sitting in the waiting area. Suddenly a $20.00 bill dropped in his lap from someone who had walked up behind him. And by the time he could turn around to see who had offered their kindness (dana), all he could see was the back of a young man who was already too far away to thank.
The image of that gift without any attachment, acknowledgement, or thanks, is to me such a wonderful example.
Each day I am blessed to learn something new about my mind, and observe my own delusions and ignorance. I am also blessed to gain a little more insight into the realities of this life, and perhaps gain some wisdom.
If I have learned nothing else so far, I have learned that it is only through my own inner observation and cultivation that I become liberated. And it is with this liberation that I find I become more accepting, grateful, and of benefit to other beings.
Like a grain of sand on the beach, I see our connectedness and that one grain is not of greater value than any other.
May you be well, happy and peaceful.